Tuesday, June 16, 2009

it's just too good to be true...

...and yet it's true.

You know when you've got a situation that just seems dreadful - where you're so uncomfortable, or frightened, or doomed - and then a ray of light pierces the clouds and you come out on top?

Well, let me give you a couple examples.

As I've already mentioned not once but twice in my short blogging career, I do not like being stuck behind slow-moving people on a city sidewalk. In one such incident a couple years back, I could not get around two teenage girls who were meandering along, holding up the droves of busy New York pedestrians (i.e., me) who were actually trying to get somewhere. I finally managed to squeak past, brushing up against one of them as I did so. She got huffy, and did that snarky gasp thing that teenage girls do when they're implying that they've been grievously wronged. I thought, "Just keep moving, Siobhan; don't engage."

But then: Junior Miss said, in classic teenage-girl bitchy voice, "Um, hello? There's a word? It's 'Excuse me'?"

I couldn't resist. I turned around and said, "That's two words."

That's what I'm talking about. This could have been an irritating situation that put me in a bad mood for the entire day, and instead, here I am years later, still chortling over it.

The impetus for this little reminiscence was an email I got yesterday, from a man I briefly dated a while back. We had a terrible fight - well, actually, we had an ugly scene where he told me all my faults and issues and shortcomings, and I left. That was five months ago, no contact since then, no need to ever speak again, let's all just move on.

I get an email from him yesterday morning, out of the clear blue sky, that was basically a continuation of his rant. As Liz Lemon would say, "What the what?" I was so pissed and upset, and getting ready to stew over it all day, and then I re-read it, and out shone that ray of light I mentioned above.

One of the various shortcomings he assigned to me, living in Crazy Land as he does, is that I apparently boast and brag about being smart (as if!!). Part of his email yesterday was to let me know that I'm not as smart as I think I am.

And then the last line of his email (and I kid you not):

"I am smarter then you."

{brief pause to let my sweet, sweet triumph sink in}

Okay, so I know I can't reply to the email, especially when he's clearly crazier than I suspected and I don't want to push him over the edge, but oh how I want to send just one little line:

"It's 'smarter than you,' Genius Boy."

Instead, I will savor my karmic victory by sharing it with you.


  1. That's the funniest thing I've ever heard...

  2. don't do it! it's not worth it!!!

  3. Hahahaha....that is SO good.

  4. Talk about dodging a bullet with that guy...


  5. I love this! Reminds me of something that happened to me years ago when I was a strapping young man (well, a young man anyway). One of my friends had left me a snarky letter saying the person I'd had my heart set on was going out with him instead, and liked him better, etc., etc. It was not actually true, but was meant to twit me and get my goat. However, I noticed quite a few misspellings in his note, so I turned his note over and wrote "your cleverness with words is exceeded only by your ability to spell them."

    I happened to be within hearing distance when he and another friend of mine came across my reply, and I heard my other friend say "ooh, ooh, what'd you misspell!"

    I definitely felt better after that.